J

souljapayne:

that selfie looked better on my phone: the novel



J

“I’ve noticed that in your papers some of you don’t seem to know the difference between ‘causal’ and ‘casual’. Well, there’s no such thing as ‘causal’ Friday because determinism doesn’t care what day of the week it is.”

Metaphysics professor



J

If I had to describe my political views over the course of my life in one sentence it’d probably be “Slowly growing more socialist”



J

reasonsmysoniscrying:

Me: “Boys, eat your vegetables.”
Wife: “Right! How do you think superheroes get so strong?”
Me: “Well, radiation mostly…”
5yo: “RADIATION!”



J

purgeparty:

estando:

no war but the skeleton class war

the skeletariat will overthrow the bonegeoise 



J

ouyangdan:

leggywillow:

truezodiacfact:

Moth pit

My reaction to this gif went from stone-faced “this is dumb” to full-on snickering gleefully in about fifteen seconds.

you can’t just drop shit like this on my dash i hurt myself laughing



J

unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.



J

penis-hilton:

congratulations snow white that’s fucking unsanitary as shit



J

unkhs:

I used to be like “I wonder what would happen if I set this thing on fire” and since then I’ve learned that more often than not the answer is “it’ll be on fire”



J

I was prepared to judge this harshly but it exceeded expectations. #food

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