that selfie looked better on my phone: the novel
If I had to describe my political views over the course of my life in one sentence it’d probably be “Slowly growing more socialist”
Me: “Boys, eat your vegetables.”
Wife: “Right! How do you think superheroes get so strong?”
Me: “Well, radiation mostly…”
no war but the skeleton class war
the skeletariat will overthrow the bonegeoise
My reaction to this gif went from stone-faced “this is dumb” to full-on snickering gleefully in about fifteen seconds.
you can’t just drop shit like this on my dash i hurt myself laughing
My anaconda will consider it
My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.
congratulations snow white that’s fucking unsanitary as shit
I used to be like “I wonder what would happen if I set this thing on fire” and since then I’ve learned that more often than not the answer is “it’ll be on fire”